SURVIVOR CONQUEST

As I parade this new thoughts of mine. I hope you join me in raising the flag campaign ‘IF YOU CANNOT MAKE HER, DON’T RAPE HER’. Let’s hop on this horse and make the world a better place for all.

About 1 in 5 women report having experienced rape or attempted rape at some point in their lives, according to a 2011 Centers of Disease Control and Prevention survey. Yet rape remains one of the most significantly underreported crimes; only about three out of every 100 rapists serve time, according to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network

This piece represents the final chapter on the topic I have been ruminating these past few weeks. I have once imagined a world where our girls and children, our wife and mother, our boys and men would walk and live freely and secured in their neighborhoods without the fear or possibility of sexual violence or rape. Can we get there? Hmnnn… Yes, may be! Only if we were in Jupiter, some will say. All human vices can be tamed and control, only if there are more dis-incentives then incentives to commit those grievous crime against humanity. Where do we stand? Let’s ask Ms. Pepples (to get full idea of Ms. Pepples, please read part-1 and part-2)

As I have written in Part 1 and Part 2 of the series, and exposed how government takes leaner approach to sexual violence, I am impressed to see that President Barack Obama of USA is taking the plunge. “Sexual violence is more than just a crime against individuals,” Obama said, announcing the task force at the White House recently. “It threatens our families; it threatens our communities. Ultimately, it threatens the entire country. It tears apart the fabric of our communities. And that’s why we’re here today – because we have the power to do something about it as a government, as a nation.” The President in his new budget proposal sets aside more than $400 million to combat violence against women.

Mrs Pepples may not have all the answers but she can enforce the rule of law that can shape cosmic perspective to sexuality and consequences to err. When a consequence is so grave for a crime, people tend to adjust. ‘Where there is no sin, there is no law’ and ‘where there is a weak law, sin still finds its way’. What should be the damnation of culprits? Before then let’s still take a little pinch on this topic; and get to the top of the matter. But first, there are some facts that just don’t hold waters

 

THE FACT DOES NOT MAKE IT RIGHT

The fact that you paid her bride price does not make it right

The fact that she denies you sex does not make it either

 

The fact she won’t go for your type does not make it right

The fact she dresses sexually provocative does not make it either

 

The fact your friends are suggesting it does not make it right

The fact she bruised your ego does not make it either

 

The fact she cheated on you does not make it right

The fact she wants you no more does not make it either

 

The fact you cannot control your urges does not make it right

The fact she is flirting with you does not make it either

 

The fact that she won’t report the incidence does not make it right

The fact that no one will know does not make it either

 

The fact that you took her on a date does not make it right

The fact that she is inebriated does not make it either

 

The fact that it is popular in penitentiary does not make it right

The fact you are already sentenced for life does not make it either

 

NAYSAYERS ARGUMENT

There are other fact in there that seems to justify the actions of perpetrators ‘gangsters’. Some is worth a pinch of salt but that does not give anyone audacity to defile another. In fact, there is no altar of justification for some of the flimsy reasons for which a human being will take the advantage of another fellow unduly.

ARGUMENT 1: Financial and Emotional Cost of a Proper Date

The financial cost and emotional preparation of taking a girl out on a proper date is expensive compared to employing the services of a hooker, at least you get satisfied and get value for substance. To a rapist, dating is antiquated. Why buy some you can steal and get away with it. We must not allow these naysayers strung the hand of the law at the prejudice of others. From my Sunday school bible classes, I remembered God created Man (Adam) and he had a fulltime work before the Woman (Eve) came to the picture. What that tells me that any man seeking the attention or love of a woman must be financially independent and sort out his work and profession first before he may pursue her.
ARGUMENT 2: Animal Sexual Outlets

There were uproar from many corners when republican former governor of Missouri, Matt Blunt made announcements to have people who forcibly rape children get executed as penal consequences for the despicable acts. One of the alternative real solutions tabled was to provide a sex outlets in some like a trailer park where anyone who has an urge to rape a child can go for some sexual relief with animals instead. That is animal cruelty and second degree rape. Evil cannot be an alternative solution for evil. The idea is idiotic, were they attracted to animals in the first place, try rape a Siberian tiger, you’ll know better. If you know going out to snick in a tiger’s butt is suicidal and have yourself restrain, you will also restrain yourself from all manners of sexual assault, knowing fully well the penalty is death. I am with Matt on this one, men have been having improper sexual experiments with women and minors for centuries, what better way than to resolve this menace. Who will see a fire and jump in except they are ready to die. It will amaze you that some men are more than ready. We are not holding them back any longer, let them burn to ashes and save the rest of humanity some sanity.

I think India is taking a step in good faith. The four men convicted over gang rape of photojournalist in Mumbai were sentenced to an amended Indian law that sets death as the maximum sentence if convicted of more than one sexual assault. I recommend this as a starter but in the next five years, if this is not enough to deter rapists, we can flip this rule to first offenders as well. In places like US and Canada, many people are against the death penalty, literally they support rapist killing others and all we can reward them for their draconian act is pardon. Wait till it happen to their ward. It is easy to have imbalance opinion about something you are not directly involved with.

Anyone who recommended sexual outlets should be investigated. You can imagine if we had to create some outlets for critical vices in the world such as murderers, fraudsters, terrorist… to relieve them of their punitive urges. I want to believe one of the reasons why we are different from animals is ability to discipline and restrain ourselves. As long as women still have dangling boobs and that smashing butt, men would have to do more than just restraining. A complete paradigm shift. Focus elsewhere. Seriously, this becomes more daunting as more women take more pride in their body and beauty than their brains. It is little confusing, but nothing can be more self-destruct than to see a fire and dive straight into it. Wait a minute is the brothel not already available outlet for any man to express his sexual hormones. Countries where prostitution is ban might experience high incidence of rape. I am not fan of this social experience, although concerned countries can take a leaf from the red-light zones of Amsterdam. The major consideration in a regulated sex industry will be the high cost of getting some, a quickie can cost $70 and above. Generally, I believe men are capable of using some sense. They alone can deliver themselves from psycopathia sexualis, the law is just to give them extra motivation.
ARGUMENT 3: All Men Are Guilty Until Proven Innocent

Why do good men have to pay for other men’s bad behavior? First, a lot of good guys are paying for the mistrust of the bad omen. Do not blame women who fails to see a guy for what he is. They have tried that and often times let down. In a culture where rape and assault is high, women tend to be more suspicious and skeptical. As already adapted by some court justice, ‘all men are guilty until proven guilty’ should be changed to ‘all men are innocent until proven guilty’. That is the best way to tackle this issue in a post-modern way.

All men and women have the right to a fair trial. And once trial starts, if the prosecutor fails to prove beyond reasonable doubt, then the presumption ‘all men are innocent until proven guilty’ remains intact while the defendant is entitled to an acquittal. But in some western community this idea is only in print and far from reality. This is more evident in instances where a person getting arrested, is treated like a perpetrator, and thrown in jail on fabricated but sworn testimony of another person (an angry ex-wife and her trifling mother-in-law) and remain in custody until a bail comes through without due process. This has to stop

Rape, assault, sexual violence and harassment are allowed to flourish not merely through the actions of a few “bad apples,” but through the unwillingness of the “GOOD guys” to challenge other men. Silence is, in practical terms, tacit consent and approval. He who knows how to do well and declines is an accomplice of evil. We can really tackle rape when the ‘good guys’ come out of self-imposed curfew and deal with their mates. The good guys have to step up. Most of your friends who rants about being a superman with women, you need to read in between and see if these guys are the ones giving men the social profiling, and talk some sense into them or howbeit, warn potential victims.

 

ARGUMENT 4: Blame It on the Alcohol

Many women who felt they have been raped cannot recall the full experience because they were heavily inebriated. In their clandestine effort to cover up their looseness, they rather not report it. Blame it on the alcohol! Should it be illegal to have sex with a woman under the influence of alcohol? The law needs to address this.

Men’s alternative argument is blame it on the pornography! Such a laughable excuse. It would be even be hard for Albert Einstein to solve the ‘Less porn = Less rape’ equation without an inconclusive answer. Government is faced with a question of morality and responsibility. How much value do the taxpayers get from the porn industry compared with the value they deserved? Most porn are on the net, can government control internet content? Yes they can in this age. I believe for investigative purpose a person history with porn can indicate indiscreet sexual behavior with the opposite sex.

Some women are just worse. I had an unfortunate experience. A guest of mine threatened to beat me up if I did not get her drunk, I would never hit a lady but I was put into a position that is more despair than facing coming traffic. This gist is for another time. Let’s roll over

 

ARGUMENT 5: I am in love

What a bad way to end your life to constantly allow someone to sexually abuse you because you are in love. Wake up, you are dining with a disaster and you don’t even know it! Basic economics of sex shows that there are many men than women looking for sex whereas there are many women than men looking for marriage. This tells us that more men than women are quick to jump in to the act of sex because they are physically attached while many women than men will do same because they are emotionally attached. That explains while some women will be sexually abused for the rest of their life because they never allow common sense to have a say in their reality. ‘I am in love’ is what gets you hacked every other week. A guy’s perspective premise on ‘nowadays women are more stress then they’re worth’ so you go Westside and flow with Young Dro on F**k dat Bi**h. Music nowadays are just so mean, this democracy is crazy, government had better a firmer control on that industry. However ‘them’ boys need to understand sex without love is like stolen cookies without milk and remember when they cut through a lady without invitation, they are stealing pleasure while she suffers pre and post pain.
ARGUMENT 6: Delayed Marriage

In many quarters, rape are not decreasing because young men lack adequate income and employment, so their marriages are delayed while women are faster to get job after college and landing more jobs than their men counterparts.

Wake up! The world is becoming increasingly competitive, so snap out of your disillusionment and face reality. Few spots are reserved for the best of the best. As a man you need to get your grind rolling if you are going to get a shot. You have no just cause or excuse to violate another because your game is wack. Women are not toys that can be flipped at any impulse or moment’s notice. Gosh… another walk on needless alley!

 

WAY FORWARD

We cannot deal with rape at the surface; identifying the crime and punishing the criminal would not deter newer vices. But first we need to understand the root of the problem and change the conditions that lead to such criminal behavior.

First, it has debated severally the extent to how women contribute to the menace. Yes we all know it is so rampant in our society where a woman dresses to appeal to a man’s libido than his senses. I like to suggest that men have right to report women who dress too provocative (especially in neighborhoods, school of learning and the workplace). This can be anonymous reporting like whistleblowing initiatives most forward thinking organizations set up for employees to report workplace issues without any reprisal.

On the flipside, all progressive nations need to have a special dedicated emergency number to report any form of sexual assaults (rape/sexual assault hotline)’. This service must be secured, and aim to improve reporting. It amazes me that less than 40% of sexual assaults are reported or brought to light. This line of reporting would bypass family, friends or society stigmatization, where practice investigators would securely carry out a criminal investigation and bring convicted culprits to justice. Afterwards, culprits be publicly named, shamed and maimed- leave no options for anyone who intend to end another. I am thinking the penalty for rape is not stringent enough, and that’s the more reason men can never be careful until we change the law. I support capital punishment for culprits, or at least life in imprisonment, this will send a good note of advice to others who can reason or tend to err.

Jump straight in – I read sometimes from the bible, that God created man first and gave him work to do before He brought a woman to his life. Do not trust a jobless man with your daughter. Surveys of the socioeconomic status of rapists indicate that the vast majority of offenders come from lower income, low education unemployed, or unskilled persons. You can make the conclusion, rich men rarely rape. All men cannot be rich because not all men are at best at using initiatives. Men need to be empowered and recruiters could factor this, as they are helping the society in a wider way. Well, how could this be possible when over 70% of HR are women? Who would they rather empower? You will be surprised at the increased ratio of women landing more office jobs than men. Such unfortunate, the man has to re-invent himself in this new economy order. Seems the woman specie sets for only equal rights but got nothing do with equal left. It can be very difficult for the man to compete at any front. A word for the man, as it happened in the book of genesis, sort out your work before the woman. And remember, when you sort out your work, find your woman, you could be saving your daughter from incidence of rape, as you would have had just enough to shelter your family in saner neighborhood. Ask me why? A female living in a rough neighborhood stands 50 percent more likely to be raped than a counterpart living in a more settled, secured and serene neighborhood.

Empowerment – one of the demographics that government has to help is the black community. The blacks have the lowest socio economic status, thus making black men linked to almost half the incidences of rape despite comprising a low population count. For instance, black men only make up 6% of the US population but make up over 45% of the prison, for various vices. This is red flag, we do not want to live in this age ‘rape has color’. Government, community, family, religious bodies must rise up to this challenge. We stand chance of saving future generations and reorder the negative legacy.

Social Cycle – Who are in social cycles, as parents we must teach them young girls to be wary of those in their close cycles. It is widely reported that more than 80% of rape are perpetrated by family, relatives, friends or close associates. We cannot chose our family but we have the choice of friends and close cycles. Even that, we can choose to distant self from any family who has the propensity to assault or anchored such history. It saddens me when I heard the story of an Austrian father who raped his own biological father for 24 years and had seven children with her. This is not the generation I want to be part of. Men and women, old and young we must fight against female objectification, assault, discrimination, violence, sexism and misogyny. This isn’t the task for only women but should be the pursuit of men, both young and old. I forever be campaigning ‘IF YOU CAN’T MAKE HER, YOU CAN’T RAPE HER’

The advent of women empowerment has led to the introduction of sex enhancement tools, particularly vibrators. Women do not always want to rely on men to splurge their urges, nowadays more women than not tend to be in charge of their sex experience. If women can decide to sort themselves out, then men can relish same sexual fetishes. In my opinion, technology has been sleeping, why not introduce a sex device ‘locomotors’ or love doll for men as well, something better than American pie. I leave this to the Japanese, they can come up with anything. That will be big breakthrough for these juveniles, serves as alternative for the psychopaths, and ultimately protect victims of rape. Don’t be surprise because why a pedophile would be attracted to a child that doesn’t move, might as well be into necrophilia. Someone tell me if a love doll does not come close, with wild selection of erotic sound bites.

In progress of technology, it would be derisive to include a mobile app that will show if a woman is pregnant or menstruating. But come to think of it, apart from privacy concerns, it would amaze us how this could go a long way to help some men to restrain knowing she was not physically ready for such untold adventures. For instance, a man on a date knowing fully well his catch is in such unique circumstance might just allow reason to take the better of him, and hence we could have rescued another potential massacre. As human existence has evolved over the years, I like to see how technology evolves. A shift in concept from master of pleasure to protector from pain.

Revisit legislation – Legislation on rape and sexual crimes must re-enforce fundamental human rights, protect individual bodily integrity and right to self-determination and sexual freedom without violating another. The Sharia law which only hold women accountable for sex related offence must either be revoked or revised. And any law which excuses women from charging husband with rape should be quashed. No wonder countries like Ethiopia where women cannot charge husband with rape has one of the highest rates of violence against women in the world. Shameful! For countries who seems to have some written law on paper- improved enforcement, fast-track arrests and questioning of anyone implicated, tighten up investigation, set trials time bound and make punishment or execution swift.

Come with me for a minute, have we considered online reporting system. Most victims cannot stand the stress of talking to someone on phone. We can have online incidence report where there is a template which includes name, location, time, witnesses, duration, pictorial evidence, DNA sample, type of abuse, culprit(s) details, background information et cetera. This reporting system will be managed by special investigative unit under the police force. In fact, all police department should have department for sexual offence and related matters. On top that, every ward or region can do with a rape crisis center for counseling and providing support to rape victims

Education board – The education board can get schools to place with their social studies curriculum, safety and protection drills for both genders on how to defend themselves in the attempt of rape. Education of boys and girls should include ‘’do’s’’ and ‘’don’ts’’

Parents – Parents must increase vigilance on minors and never leave their kids alone with a stranger. Parents should check the sites their children visit on the net and the type of books they read. A child who is aware of dangers will be more likely to ward off a rapist. Increased vigilance is the solution. With this in mind, strong parental support will give girls a sense of security and belonging. A good parent-child relationship and communication would enable the latter express their fears and anxieties. That said, parents want to encourage their children to report to them any incidents like indecent closeness, shady outing, sexual violence, physical proximity or inappropriate touching even if it is from family members or relatives. Show love to your kids, as it has been reported, children from unhappy homes are easy targets as they are starved for affection.

Schools – I like to see schools institute a standard protocol for handling sex-assault cases and initiate bystander training for young men, teaching them to intervene instead of acting as idle spectators when buddies take incapacitated young women into dark rooms. I remember in my university, fraud and students caught on examination malpractices are exposed on all the school’s notice board. In fact their presence is not warranted in the school premises any longer and we are told to report any sight of them or activities on campus. All their information is sent to all colleges in the country, they cannot seek admission elsewhere. Same can be done in colleges where rape is rampant nowadays. Naming and shaming perpetrators for sexual crime committed within or outside campus will make recalcitrant student sit tight, and encourage parents to work on and be protective of their wards. No parents want her kid to soil their family name on campus. This will also improve brand image of college, thus prospective students have a right to know how safe campuses are for young women.

 

TOP OF THE MATTER

It is no longer man’s world (sorry James Brown). Woman have their price, and whether, in marriage, relationship or prostitution, men usually have to pay. So what is the base dollar or value women place on love or sex? A relative mathematical attempt to study what feminist would contest with the idea that ‘women cannot be bought’, or ‘you can only win a woman’s love’, and what about the losers who rather forcefully steal their love for a moment than lose her forever. Then those men be ready to pay with their own lives. They do not belong to this habitat. Simples. Listen my son, ‘real men don’t buy girls’.

Let us fight rape like a contagious disease, an epidemic if not dealt with it early, it comes back every now and then, until it suffocated our very existence. Please support the campaign of ‘IF YOU CANNOT MAKE HER, DON’T RAPE HER’. Let’s fire back at Ms. Pepples of this world to wake up from their indifference and be proactive in dealing with this menace.

The top of the matter is that we have all been raped. Raped by political juggernauts, social ills, ethnicity prejudice, natural exigencies et cetera. And we all deserve justice. Where does it stop? When we start taking swift actions until wounded lambs become striving lions.

Each country has a rape culture and it is best to understand the rape culture of countries differ from one another, that would help us in proffering fastidious solution based on each country’s culture. Rape has a culture, rape has a color as well. At a later study, I will be reviewing rape culture and color of top 50 countries with rape incidence and how best to tackle the crisis given the specifics of that culture, however it turns out. Possibly I may collaborate with an agency of United Nations dedicated to the purpose.

Final recall- I am sounding a gong and blasting a trumpet to these countries with long history and high incidence of rape, if they would hear, to snap out of the world Ms. Pepples and protect the people. This includes India, United Kingdom, South Africa, Belgium, Zimbabwe, United States, Korea, Sweden, Mexico, Thailand, Colombia Trinidad and Tobago, Sudan, Lesotho and others (you know yourself).